A NeuroSpicy Stimming Spiritual Practice

Many neurodiverse children use a practice called ‘stimming’ (self-stimulating through repetitive actions or sounds) to help them self-regulate. Some commonly observed stims are vocalizations (words or sounds), body rocking or spinning, hand flapping, stroking, squinting, and tapping. Neurotypical individuals also stim: twirling hair, tapping fingers, doodling, humming, bouncing a leg, etc.

Studies show that stimming reduces anxiety and helps children cope with day-to-day challenges. It channels stress into a rhythmic and patterned activity that replaces unpleasant feelings with more pleasant ones and quiets anxious thoughts. Pressuring kids to repress or change their stimming actions often increases anxiety. Instead, experts recommend encouraging children to use their stims intentionally to manage big emotions and challenging situations.

Developing a spiritual practice that affirms stimming encourages neurodiverse children to see themselves as capable of self-regulation. It provides an opportunity for grounding themselves in the moment using a tool they already know is helpful to them. Stimming alongside a loved one adds an element of connection with another person and normalizes their way of coping. It also builds parental understanding about the benefits of stimming for neurodiverse children.

Whether your child is verbal or non-verbal, begin by observing them to identify their preferred or commonly used stims. If your child is able and comfortable talking about their stims, ask them what their preference is. They may identify more than one.

Talk positively about stims, using the information provided by your child or gleaned through your observations. For example, say: I see that you seem calmer [less anxious, more focused] when you tap your fingers together [squeeze your arms, rub your feet together, whistle, cluck your tongue, etc.]. What do you experience when you stim?

After talking about the positive aspects of stimming, ask your child if you can try using their stim as well. If they say yes, replicate their movement or sound. As you do so, say: This helps calm [focus, settle] me. Demonstrate with your whole body the experience of calming or settling as you stim.

Suggest that the two of you do the stim together. If they agree, stim together for 1-2 minutes.

Over the next few days, model using this stim yourself when you are feeling dysregulated. Say things like, I need help calming down with all this noise around me or I need help focusing with all these people around and do the stim. Then say, That helped me feel calmer [more focused, settled].

Invite your child to use their stim when they accompany you on errand runs or other short trips that they find challenging. Remind them before you leave that they can stim to help themselves manage anxiety and stay in the moment. Model stimming yourself as you both engage in the errand run or shopping trip.