My son likes to dress up as the grim reaper on Halloween. He dons a hooded black robe and carries a staff with a skull on top in one hand and a scythe in the other. Sometimes he sits in the shadows on our porch and then jumps out at trick-or-treaters when they approach. He never says a word, which somehow makes his playacting even scarier.
Halloween brings out a fascination with fear, especially in older children. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says that kids (and adults) who embrace scary experiences may be ‘sensation seekers’: those who enjoy high levels of excitement and adventure. They may be bored with everyday life and looking for something out of the ordinary to jazz things up. Or they may relish the strong emotions evoked by horror movies and scary events.
Children may also be curious about frightening and/or dangerous things. They may wonder what motivates people to act in violent and destructive ways. They could be exploring specific examples of conflicts between good and evil. They might want to test their own ability to overcome the ‘evil’ they attribute to monsters and other scary things. Or they could just be checking out the latest trendy show because their friends are talking about it.
How kids are affected by scary experiences depends on several factors. One of the most significant is the nature of a scary person. If a monster or villain is likable or shares traits with a child, then the child may want to copy their behavior. Characters like Gru (in the Despicable Me series) and Elphaba (in Wicked) play to this relatable connection. Mixing humor and violence, also a feature of many shows, can make imitating scary behavior more attractive as well.
Studies show that children also pay closer attention to graphic depictions of violence, i.e., images that include blood and gore. Such scenes are frequently depicted in movies, Halloween lawn decorations, haunted houses, and costumes. Weapons use may encourage kids to imagine or experiment with similar acts of aggression, particularly if violence is rewarded. However, if violence is punished or overcome by quick thinking, children respond differently. They also feel more empathetic if scary movies show others’ pain when attacked.
The difference between a good fright and a traumatic experience, then, might hinge on reflecting with children about the scary things they see and do. If kids love the thrill of watching monsters chase people, then name this ‘sensation-seeking’ trait, explore non-violent ways they might also fulfill this desire (e.g., ropes courses, rock climbing, martial arts training), and encourage them to find a balance. If they are imitating weapons play without regard for how their ‘victims’ feel, then wonder together about the perspectives of those being attacked. If their favorite horror shows glorify violence, then suggest alternatives that depict heroes using a variety of tactics to take down villains. These approaches affirm children’s interests while also inviting them to explore the effects of particular choices on their wellbeing.
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