My eldest played on a school soccer team in fourth grade. She and her team members loved the sport but weren’t particularly competitive. They grew bewildered when other teams used catcalls and putdowns as game play distractions. My daughter came home wondering how they should respond.
This situation is precisely the kind of scenario in which children might benefit from a social story. Originally created for children on the autism spectrum, social stories are simple tools that help kids navigate social situations well. They combine images and simple statements co-created by kids and adults that model appropriate or expected behaviors.
Social stories present basic emotional and behavioral information clearly and step-by-step. For example, if a child struggles to use their words instead of throwing a tantrum when someone does something they don’t like, a social story walks them through the steps needed to manage their emotions differently. It offers simple actions, such as taking deep breaths, doing a feelings scan, and/or telling the other person about their feelings.
Because they break situations down into manageable parts, social stories empower children to self-regulate. They help kids understand what might happen and see that they can choose how they respond. And as they grow more confident in their positive choices, they feel more connected to themselves and others.
Social stories can also build empathy by providing information about others’ needs and emotions. Including statements like “others may get upset if I yell at them” or “my friends prefer that we take turns when we play” helps children recognize interpersonal expectations. They serve as personal reminders to consider other points of view when making social decisions.
While social stories can be created to address ‘problem’ behaviors, they are also effective in supporting children as they adjust to new family routines (e.g., birth of a sibling, shift from summer to fall schedule, move to a new home) or prepare for special events (e.g., holidays). For example, a Thanksgiving story might identify where the family is going to celebrate, who else will be present, what table manners are expected, and how to manage uncomfortable comments or hugs.
To create a social story, identify a situation or behavior that needs attention and invite the child to talk with you about it. Ask them to share what questions or concerns they have and offer your thoughts as well. Then write a few sentences together that describe what might happen and positive ways to respond. If a child is worried about unwanted hugs, a sample sentence might be “When Aunt Jamie tries to hug me, I can say ‘no’ and offer a high five instead.” Or if a child thinks they might not like some of the foods served, a story sentence could be “When I don’t like a food, I can quietly spit it into my napkin and fold it beside my plate.”
Add images so the story includes visual as well as written cues. These might be photos or pictures hand drawn by the child, created online, or downloaded from another source. They don’t need to be elaborate. Simple stick figures and emojis will suffice.
You can also add voiceover recordings to a digital story if desired. This can be especially useful if a child is a non-reader or likes to hear their own voice. It may also help phrases get stuck in a child’s mind because they can listen to the story over and over on their own.
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