“Mommy, why did God let Serena* get cancer?” asked my eight year old. It was a question I had been both expecting and dreading. I wondered what to say. I recognized that my daughter wasn’t just expressing concern for her friend. She was also exploring the philosophical question of why bad things happen to people who don’t seem to deserve them.
Experts used to believe that children didn’t have the capacity to think about big questions. But more recent research suggests that kids wonder about philosophical issues regularly. They notice and try to make sense of what is happening around them. They think about why the world works the way it does and how they can make a difference. They question things that seem to be anomalies, such as medicines like chemotherapy that make children feel sicker instead of better.
Now experts say that even young children are developing a philosophical self. As parents and caregivers, we can support this development by encouraging and exploring a variety of philosophical questions with them. Doing so also challenges us as adults to listen carefully to how children wrestle with deep issues and rethink our own perspectives.
Children’s philosophical questions typically fall into four categories: ethics, epistemology, metaphysics, and aesthetics. Ethical questions focus on how people should act with one another. When we tell a child to use their words when they are angry, we are suggesting that talking out problems is better for relationships than physical fighting. A child might notice, however, that threatening physical behavior helps some people get their way. They wonder about the wisdom of a ‘use your words’ rule. Helping them explore the ‘why’ behind the rule nurtures philosophical thinking.
Epistemological questions focus on how and what we can know. When a child wonders why they can remember some things easily while other information slips away, they are asking an epistemological question. They want to know how their mind works. When they begin to sort facts from fantasies, they are creating epistemological categories that shape how they look at information. Inviting them to share why they think something belongs in a particular category helps them cultivate this aspect of their philosophical self.
Metaphysical questions focus on how we define reality. Similar to epistemological questions, they challenge children to distinguish facts and fantasies from ideals. For example, a child may wonder if someone remains a ‘true’ friend if they say something hurtful. This might lead to an exploration of what it means to be a friend, the ways in which even good friends can make mistakes, and how friendships can endure despite periods of difficulty. Guiding a child through such ponderings cultivates philosophical thinking.
Questions of aesthetics focus on concepts of beauty. Children experiment with aesthetics when they choose unconventional colors for their pictures, ‘mismatched’ clothing options, and atypical bedroom decor . The positive or negative feedback they get can shape how they define what is beautiful. Such questions may arise particularly early with children whom others categorize as ‘less pretty’ or ‘undesirable’ because of social biases about skin color, weight, facial features, etc. Affirming children’s personal perspectives and talking about how communities decide on social norms of beauty helps kids navigate this philosophical minefield.
*This name is a pseudonym
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